Letter #2-My Crush

Last night, I had a long talk with my friend Thom. I told him how horrible I was at keeping up with this blog, and how I didn't have a crush. I lied. There's always that one person you can't let go. That one person that will always haunt you and make you wonder what might have been. So here goes.

Dear H,

Hi. I don't know if you even remember me. I'm the girl that was stupid and fell hard, who's heart you broke by asking out her best friend, who pathetically dreamed about how great we could be together. Ring a bell? Probably not to you.

You'll never read this, and that's ok. This is for me for once, and no one else. And it's especially not for you.

I have no reason to be this...what is this? Protective? Obsessive? I'm not really sure. But all I know is that I loved you, and had no reason to. You couldn't have cared less about me, but I can't let you go. People dropped hints, you had to have known. Co-workers can't keep their mouths shut, I've come to discover.

You left for basic training, and I had almost put you out of my mind. I was getting ready to go to Springfield for college, had made new friends, had finally figured out my life, when you came back and saw me at work. We chatted. You smiled. My heart broke again when your girlfriend came up to you and gave me a dirty look. In that two minutes, you took control of the situation you didn't even know about.

But today I'm giving myself permission to move on. There was always a glimmer of hope that we would run into each other again, and it would just click. The world would fall into place and there would be rainbows and flowers and unicorns and nothing bad would ever happen again, because us being together was the perfect match and nothing could ever screw with it.

So I hope you have a fantastic life, and are happy in everything you do.

Goodbye,
Courtney